This morning I was driving to work and I saw a bumper sticker on a beat-up pickup truck that said "I 'heart' my Mom". I had a several problems with this. Number one, I bet the
mouthbreather's mom would be horrified at what an A$$hole her little sonny is behind the wheel. Number two, I'd be more interested if the bumper sticker didn't have such an obvious message. He may as well have had a sticker that said "this is a truck". Number three, it's not a message that needs to be shared with the world. I bet he has never said it directly to his mom. I suggest that when he gets home from his job at the refinery that he run by the trailer park and kiss his mom and tell of his affection in person. Dollars to doughnuts, I'd bet it would make more of an impression.
Being the self-appointed arbiter of
appropriateness that I am, I have come up with a plan to combat these stupid types of bumper stickers. Let's turn them on their head a bit. You see
now the design for a sticker I have come up with that will allow me to
perform a bit of linguistic plastic surgery on the inane message, rendering it interesting.
This clever little device can be used on most dingbat driven
bumper stickers and will entertain folks for hours. Here is one
example of the hilarity that can ensue.
It really becomes effective when people start mentioning their dogs or honor students on their bumper stickers.
That is all.
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